After I managed to shove away lethargy and depression for a few days, I stopped drinking and smoking heavily and finally found some new hope. I was looking to hire another cartoon designer and tried hiring on reddit. Got a lot of applications, one was outstanding. Giacomo Boni applied to work with me, as I later found out he is a humble and great guy. But it wasn't quite as I have expected back then. It wasn't the famous character designer Giacomo Boni who had applied through reddit. It was some random internet weep that impersonated Giacomo Boni, made use of his previous work just to scam me. This is some heinous reddit scheme that happens very often when people are looking for freelancers as I found out later. Thank god I contacted the real Giancomo Boni through another art-related website and asked him if he had applied to my reddit ad. He didn't and he didn't felt quite well to get impersonated for some scam scheme. We had a nice chat. Great dude, talented artist but he couldn't work for me as he had another appointment already. Check out the newest game he is involved @ Bradley the Badger

I won't complain. Sitting here with the rest of what is left that has once been my family makes my heart feel good. At least for now - It's warm, there is light and a roof over our head. We managed to get a cheap christmas tree that looks beautiful and we made a DIY christmas wreath before. 4 Candles have been lit. Kinda wholesome moment after all those struggle.

It's shivering cold inside my home. I had to get up early to get and carry home some wood and coal to heat up my living space to a degree that doesn't make you want to end it all. I just managed to pay a small amount to the electric grid company so that my electricity won't be shut off over christmas time. Looking forward to a happy holiday season.

My financial situation is worse now. I still can't pay my bills. They already threatened to turn off the electricity. I'm sitting here, its freezing cold outside, in my barely heated home shivering eating Ramen. All I have left is hope. Hope that my business idea is soon coming to live and at least enable me to afford living itself again. I don't have a clue what to do if everything fails. I put all my efforts in designing and setting up the shop and still can't launch because of several reasons. I'm in debt. Companies want over 15k in money from me. I feel lonely. While my closest relatives would like to help, they can't afford to help me. I'm going to face the repo man soon. I might get evicted from my home. The last bill I was able to pay was issued by my internet provider. Luckily some money came in at the right time but it was less than 60 bucks that I made online and it is all gone now after paying for internet access. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be able to write these lines or keep on working on my clothing line up. This is a message to myself and everyone else who is in some sort of a similar situation: "Don't give up. Never give up. Pursue your dreams" Time will tell if I made the right decision. The decision to not let me get enslaved by a system that is driven by corporate greed. A system that enslaves everyone from day 1 of birth. You have no choice. Earn money, pay taxes. They won't let you live in a remote cabin in the woods. Hunting and gathering for your own needs is illegal if you can't afford to pay for license etc. They took the way of the mammal from us. They took our way of life, our way of survival from us. And AI surveillance is going to make everything worse than it already is.

After I have been chatting for many hours and been actively working on the character designs with a character designer from Pakistan he just varnished from space and time. I felt so much love for that dude, who seemed so wholesome and pure to me. He was willing to help me out and work for free upfront on a commission basis after hearing the last part of my yet to finish life story. He seemed so empathetic for a broke, broken dude with mental health issues. I thought this pure hearted good soul will save not only me but as well become my future main lead designer for all things Airnimals. I hope he is allright and just lost the possibility to stay in contact with me or something like that. If he let me down on purpose, I want the Airnimals to become even more successful so that he starts to question his own behaviour. Because you shouldn't let down someone who is at the point of breaking.

I work on fulfilling my dream more or less fultime right now. I lost most of my revenue streams and I'm totally broke now. I don't know how to pay my bills anymore :-(

The last two evenings I spent my time drawing again. I'm about to create a funny cartoon character of my Airnimal Series. His name is Albert and he is -drumroll- a Koala. I love Koalas but never draw one myself, so this is kind of challenging. Not sure if I should share my sketches here - Would you like to view them? Let me know!